You should read "Theory of the Leisure Class" by Thorstein Veblen. I recommend this book often, but I don't think anyone has ever taken me up on it. Which is too bad. Veblen is the person who coined the term "conspicuous consumption," and I think that's the key to all this partying and senseless organizing, and maybe even to your strong reaction to your friend's asking for money, which entirely offends the spirit of a party designed to show off your affluence and curry favor with the plebs.
Thanks for the Container Store explanation! I think it's fair for your friends to have a venmo and give it to people who show up empty-handed and ASK 'do you want me to give you something?' or 'sorry we couldn't bring anything, can I pay you back for the trouble?' but yes, I might just be a decent human being and I sneakily saved all my friends bank details and always pay them back even if they didn't mention it. Thank you. Thank you, I know. Please, no need to clap. Also, you might need to take a step back. As much as I would LOVE an adulting kitchen and throwing theme parties, I live in an apartmemt. My whole flat is as big as my workplace's bathroom. There is no room to decorate, there is no room to store, nor to host. Who are these people with houses and money?!
Apartment livers unite!!! Even having a small backyard where friends could gather + hang is a mini dream.
Definitely actually a very fair point about when a Venmo ask would be gucci. I even think people organizing parties and asking for, say, $10-$15/attendee is okay so long as the host uses that money for all the food, bevvies, etc. And that's stated beforehand. But for decorations?? Nahhh, much harder sell for me. (Pun intended hardy har har.)
I also think the 1 kinda cool exception to organization porn content IS those for small spaces. Because then you're not just organizing overconsumption. You're actually just organizing functional necessities. Very different energy.
Yeah the decorations are a hard sell. And I get organising smaller spaces with functionality in mind. But that's hardly viral-material.
I am having a flashback of a time in the 2010s when gothic-lolitas across the world were sharing photos of their closets and wardrobes and it was the most chaotic frilly pastel mess you'd ever seen. A joy for the eye!
As a Dallasite, I appreciate the quick history of the container store. It really is the perfect store for a city that loves over and conspicuous consumption.
Also I truly cannot imagine inviting my friends over for a party and then telling them they need to pay up.
As a Dallasite I'm glad you agreed and didn't want to rip my head off for poking fun! It really is a bit too on the nose, isn't it?
And yup. Big time yup. Truly I don't want this to turn into a public tar-and-feathering of this pal. But it was just....bizarre. Not personally something I would ever feel comfortable doing. And not the kind of hosting I want to be known for.
I attended an extravagant baby shower a couple months ago. An elaborate cold brew and mimosa bar! Custom decorations!
It looked nice! But the party would have been just as good without it. And the bill smaller, along with the pile of trash they have to throw away when it's over.
I am not an organized person at all. But I do love the container store. The specificity of all the different containers is kind of fun to see. Although their unde-bed bins have helped me get linen storage in order on my tiny place, I'm with you about the issues with organization as aesthetic. The storage solution that works is functional, not necessarily photogenic.
omfg THE BABY SHOWERS THESE DAYS! That alone could be it's own topic! So funny you bring that up too, because not three weeks ago I was at a similar baby shower in the suburbs with a similar upscale vibe (complete with the mimosa bar). It was v cute, and the soon-to-be mama seemed happy. But the vibes and signals were....fascinating.
You bring up such a good point about the subset of organization dedicated to small spaces. I would absolutely say that's an exception, and a positive one. That's not corralling unnecessary overconsumption, that's just organizing your livable basics. Huge difference for sure.
asking to share costs of something AFTERWARDS is the cringiest cringe that ever cringed, I literally cannot even.
Like I get it if one person ALWAYS hosts and the little sneaky costs might add up. But say that shit beforehand.
I am becoming hysterically allergic to 'seasonal shopping' i.e. Halloween shit, Christmas shit, Valentines shit, Easter shit. Like there is not a day that isn't under siege by some specific trend thing you should be purchasing, mostly made of plastic and too crappy to stand up straight. No thank you.
I do understand the appeal of the hostess aesthetic, but have long since understood the stars are not for man, i.e. the hostess chic is not for me. Somehow I manage to have a great time with my friends regardless. Huh. Who'd have thunk.
Who woulda thunk — my friends want to hang out because of who I am?!? Not because I have the latest Anthropologie dinner serving set?!?
SUCH a good point bringing in the seasonal shopping epidemic. That’s absolutely related!
Ik im pretty shit at this myself, but we really don’t stop to think about our relationship with stuff, and why we feel pressure to keep up with the stuff Joneses.
I feel like there is an odd desire to, like, buy aesthetic. Like I am someone who really loves stuff. I’m very far from some sort of zen minimalist simplicity gal. I have like at least 16 ceramic bowls that are way too small to serve an actual dish in. For, like, condiments? But more for being pretty ceramic bowls that are cheap and therefore I can gather them.
But I absolutely detest this ‘buy the entire aesthetic’ thing. It gives the same vibe as those people who want to seem educated so they buy bookshelves with random books by the meter. Or just spines with no books inside. It’s vapid.
The sort of home I really appreciate is one where things have clearly been lovingly picked out and gathered over the person’s life. Their favorite books on the shelves. Their favorite artists’ prints on the wall. Small trinkets or decorations they might have fallen in love with during trips, or been gifted, or dug up at a random yard sale somewhere where they weren’t even supposed to be. That sort of decor doesn’t get replaced for every event - it’s not disposable. My 16 tiny ceramic bowls aren’t disposable.
I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. I am by NO means a minimalist (just step into my apartment), and by no means do I want this piece to sound like I'm supporting minimalism!
Your 16 tiny ceramic bowls, my apartment full of tchotchkes, trinkets, books. These things were gathered intentionally, probably over time.
Compare that with the aesthetic commercial haul where someone buys an entire influencer's Amazon home goods list that's been pre-curated to achieve a special specific look, all in one order. Same thing with what you get at The Container Store. These retailer tableware sets, etc. are all put together to LOOK like they weren't put together. They want to achieve that over-time eclectic aesthetic, but with the modern convenience and ease of an instant purchase.
It's such an ideological scrambled egg it's really just absurd. Funny too, but absurd.
So, so true! I'll admit to having semi organized closets and cabinets but it's really because I don't have a lot of stuff. I've spent the last many years progressively getting rid of things. It's surprising what you don't need!
Also, I could NOT have kept my mouth closed on the decorations Venmo...😈
Yes! Actually thoughtfully getting rid of stuff is just a lot more difficult than buying some pretty pretty storage bins. But it teaches you how weird our relationship with amassing “stuff” is!
This is a world I've never encountered in my own life and I'll thank you for exposing me to it just enough for it to be interesting without making me actually have to go to one of these parties. I don't think I've been to a house party since the mid-2010s and I don't miss them. Even then, there was a lot of pressure from social media, now it's just getting silly. Meanwhile, a counter-aesthetic of having your parties look like they were from the 2010s is rising up.
I agree so much with this. My personal gripe is against any kind of cult taken to an extreme. I am as allergic to hyper-domestication as intense corporate hustle. Feels like both are prisons, the deeper you go into it, you give up on just living. Also, some people run homes like mini factories. I've seen homes where pantries are stocked up for weeks, help in at least three forms (in India) comes at different times to do various things, service providers arrive to do gardening or other things. It feels exhausting to me. I prefer my house to be a refuge and a certain amount of minimalism is essential for that. At the same time, domesticity taken to an extreme makes me squeamish - like I can no longer roam a bit free. 😅
You should read "Theory of the Leisure Class" by Thorstein Veblen. I recommend this book often, but I don't think anyone has ever taken me up on it. Which is too bad. Veblen is the person who coined the term "conspicuous consumption," and I think that's the key to all this partying and senseless organizing, and maybe even to your strong reaction to your friend's asking for money, which entirely offends the spirit of a party designed to show off your affluence and curry favor with the plebs.
**Adding to reading list** That truly actually sounds right up my alley.
It's totally the key concept. Everyone using stuff to display their stability or "rightness" in the world.
There's nothing like excessive organising as an excuse for mindless consumerism to bring out your inner chaos gremlin.
What a wombo combo
Thanks for the Container Store explanation! I think it's fair for your friends to have a venmo and give it to people who show up empty-handed and ASK 'do you want me to give you something?' or 'sorry we couldn't bring anything, can I pay you back for the trouble?' but yes, I might just be a decent human being and I sneakily saved all my friends bank details and always pay them back even if they didn't mention it. Thank you. Thank you, I know. Please, no need to clap. Also, you might need to take a step back. As much as I would LOVE an adulting kitchen and throwing theme parties, I live in an apartmemt. My whole flat is as big as my workplace's bathroom. There is no room to decorate, there is no room to store, nor to host. Who are these people with houses and money?!
Also, friends? Who leave their offspring and go to events and dress up? Pfffh.
Apartment livers unite!!! Even having a small backyard where friends could gather + hang is a mini dream.
Definitely actually a very fair point about when a Venmo ask would be gucci. I even think people organizing parties and asking for, say, $10-$15/attendee is okay so long as the host uses that money for all the food, bevvies, etc. And that's stated beforehand. But for decorations?? Nahhh, much harder sell for me. (Pun intended hardy har har.)
I also think the 1 kinda cool exception to organization porn content IS those for small spaces. Because then you're not just organizing overconsumption. You're actually just organizing functional necessities. Very different energy.
Apt high-5!
Yeah the decorations are a hard sell. And I get organising smaller spaces with functionality in mind. But that's hardly viral-material.
I am having a flashback of a time in the 2010s when gothic-lolitas across the world were sharing photos of their closets and wardrobes and it was the most chaotic frilly pastel mess you'd ever seen. A joy for the eye!
As a Dallasite, I appreciate the quick history of the container store. It really is the perfect store for a city that loves over and conspicuous consumption.
Also I truly cannot imagine inviting my friends over for a party and then telling them they need to pay up.
As a Dallasite I'm glad you agreed and didn't want to rip my head off for poking fun! It really is a bit too on the nose, isn't it?
And yup. Big time yup. Truly I don't want this to turn into a public tar-and-feathering of this pal. But it was just....bizarre. Not personally something I would ever feel comfortable doing. And not the kind of hosting I want to be known for.
It really is on the nose. I’m not a native, so I like to think I can recognize just how ridiculous Dallas, and Texas in general, really are.
I attended an extravagant baby shower a couple months ago. An elaborate cold brew and mimosa bar! Custom decorations!
It looked nice! But the party would have been just as good without it. And the bill smaller, along with the pile of trash they have to throw away when it's over.
I am not an organized person at all. But I do love the container store. The specificity of all the different containers is kind of fun to see. Although their unde-bed bins have helped me get linen storage in order on my tiny place, I'm with you about the issues with organization as aesthetic. The storage solution that works is functional, not necessarily photogenic.
omfg THE BABY SHOWERS THESE DAYS! That alone could be it's own topic! So funny you bring that up too, because not three weeks ago I was at a similar baby shower in the suburbs with a similar upscale vibe (complete with the mimosa bar). It was v cute, and the soon-to-be mama seemed happy. But the vibes and signals were....fascinating.
You bring up such a good point about the subset of organization dedicated to small spaces. I would absolutely say that's an exception, and a positive one. That's not corralling unnecessary overconsumption, that's just organizing your livable basics. Huge difference for sure.
asking to share costs of something AFTERWARDS is the cringiest cringe that ever cringed, I literally cannot even.
Like I get it if one person ALWAYS hosts and the little sneaky costs might add up. But say that shit beforehand.
I am becoming hysterically allergic to 'seasonal shopping' i.e. Halloween shit, Christmas shit, Valentines shit, Easter shit. Like there is not a day that isn't under siege by some specific trend thing you should be purchasing, mostly made of plastic and too crappy to stand up straight. No thank you.
I do understand the appeal of the hostess aesthetic, but have long since understood the stars are not for man, i.e. the hostess chic is not for me. Somehow I manage to have a great time with my friends regardless. Huh. Who'd have thunk.
Who woulda thunk — my friends want to hang out because of who I am?!? Not because I have the latest Anthropologie dinner serving set?!?
SUCH a good point bringing in the seasonal shopping epidemic. That’s absolutely related!
Ik im pretty shit at this myself, but we really don’t stop to think about our relationship with stuff, and why we feel pressure to keep up with the stuff Joneses.
I feel like there is an odd desire to, like, buy aesthetic. Like I am someone who really loves stuff. I’m very far from some sort of zen minimalist simplicity gal. I have like at least 16 ceramic bowls that are way too small to serve an actual dish in. For, like, condiments? But more for being pretty ceramic bowls that are cheap and therefore I can gather them.
But I absolutely detest this ‘buy the entire aesthetic’ thing. It gives the same vibe as those people who want to seem educated so they buy bookshelves with random books by the meter. Or just spines with no books inside. It’s vapid.
The sort of home I really appreciate is one where things have clearly been lovingly picked out and gathered over the person’s life. Their favorite books on the shelves. Their favorite artists’ prints on the wall. Small trinkets or decorations they might have fallen in love with during trips, or been gifted, or dug up at a random yard sale somewhere where they weren’t even supposed to be. That sort of decor doesn’t get replaced for every event - it’s not disposable. My 16 tiny ceramic bowls aren’t disposable.
I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. I am by NO means a minimalist (just step into my apartment), and by no means do I want this piece to sound like I'm supporting minimalism!
Your 16 tiny ceramic bowls, my apartment full of tchotchkes, trinkets, books. These things were gathered intentionally, probably over time.
Compare that with the aesthetic commercial haul where someone buys an entire influencer's Amazon home goods list that's been pre-curated to achieve a special specific look, all in one order. Same thing with what you get at The Container Store. These retailer tableware sets, etc. are all put together to LOOK like they weren't put together. They want to achieve that over-time eclectic aesthetic, but with the modern convenience and ease of an instant purchase.
It's such an ideological scrambled egg it's really just absurd. Funny too, but absurd.
That’s exactly it! Like thinking you can buy a head full of read literature by buying a meter of books for your shelf. It’s actually really sad.
So empty sad.
So, so true! I'll admit to having semi organized closets and cabinets but it's really because I don't have a lot of stuff. I've spent the last many years progressively getting rid of things. It's surprising what you don't need!
Also, I could NOT have kept my mouth closed on the decorations Venmo...😈
Yes! Actually thoughtfully getting rid of stuff is just a lot more difficult than buying some pretty pretty storage bins. But it teaches you how weird our relationship with amassing “stuff” is!
Oooooooh you woulda been in good company 😅
😄 this made me laugh so hard. And also, UGH stuff, why??
It was "the charming lady overcome by the unaccountable desire to climb up on the table and lie down?" image that got you wasn't it
The range of motion in that lunge!
This is a world I've never encountered in my own life and I'll thank you for exposing me to it just enough for it to be interesting without making me actually have to go to one of these parties. I don't think I've been to a house party since the mid-2010s and I don't miss them. Even then, there was a lot of pressure from social media, now it's just getting silly. Meanwhile, a counter-aesthetic of having your parties look like they were from the 2010s is rising up.
I agree so much with this. My personal gripe is against any kind of cult taken to an extreme. I am as allergic to hyper-domestication as intense corporate hustle. Feels like both are prisons, the deeper you go into it, you give up on just living. Also, some people run homes like mini factories. I've seen homes where pantries are stocked up for weeks, help in at least three forms (in India) comes at different times to do various things, service providers arrive to do gardening or other things. It feels exhausting to me. I prefer my house to be a refuge and a certain amount of minimalism is essential for that. At the same time, domesticity taken to an extreme makes me squeamish - like I can no longer roam a bit free. 😅